May 24 2012
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Mar 24 2012
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Mar 22 2012
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“ Many times, I had to skip a question because I couldn’t figure out the answer, and then I got that paranoia that’s unique to someone taking a standardized test. I became fearful that I had failed to skip over the question on my answer sheet. So every five seconds, I’d double-check my sheet to make sure I didn’t fill out my answers in the wrong slots. One time I did this, and so I had to erase the answers and move them all forward. Only I had a shitty eraser, which failed to erase my mark and instead smeared the mark all over the rest of my sheet. FUCK YOU, TRICK ERASER. I HATE YOU.
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“ If it weren’t for throwing conniption fits, we wouldn’t get any exercise at all.
— Bill Maher, with an excellent article about Punning Against Humanity
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“He is my son,” the First Lady told David Letterman. “I have two girls – and a boy.”
Obama has always said she considers herself the Mom-in-Chief, and in true mom form, she had nothing but praise for her furry kid. “Bo is wonderful,” she said. “He is the smartest dog on the planet.” When Letterman expressed doubts about Portuguese water dogs and their behavior, Obama assured him that Bo has nothing but positive qualities.
“He’s a very sweet dog. I’m not being biased. He’s very well-mannered, he’s very even-tempered,” she said. “He has a very busy schedule, appearances. I’m thinking about getting him an agent.”
(via apsies)
Mar 21 2012
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(Source: dickonator, via imgfave)
Mar 20 2012
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I am very much behind the new boy band explosion, especially the series of nudey pics I found online today in trying to figure out the name of the lead singer of The Wanted. Maximilian, it seems, is not shy.
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“ I know! No matter how many times I assure them that I’m responsible and I know that I am not, they still ask me repeatedly if I’m pregnant. And THEN they make me take a pregnancy test anyway! Next time I’m in an ED, I’m gonna refuse. Won’t pay for that test. CT scan my FETUS!
— An indignant medical student. She is not, in fact, pregnant.
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Courtesy of Ms. OhSam122
5. I wish I learned to live in the moment
Many of those in the room were taught all their lives to set goals, work hard to achieve them, only to then set a still higher bar. In the process of living a life looking forward, many felt they had lost the capacity to look down and enjoy the moments that today’s life presents. Many recounted days when time seemed to move slower, “days where you could just sit in the backyard all afternoon.” But those days, to many, seemed all but over after the skill of living in the moment had long left them.
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The first part of Cow’s Grand Adventure—a field trip to the hospital . Sadly, there is no photo documentation of his Neiman Marcus shopping spree.
